I am over this house! (not really).

The back yard

I should be relaxing in my back yard but I am not!

Sometimes I feel like I spend every waking minute, at some level, thinking about what needs to be done on the house.  This combined with my slight obsessiveness  makes it really hard for me some times to just relax at home.  This seems absurd because I used to be the type of person who wanted to always relax, read and enjoy my home.  I am not sure if everyone who buys a house gets house-nuts or whether it is just me.

Last summer I loved my backyard…this summer not so much.  This is mainly because I hate the slope of the yard and now I’m obsessing over what I need to do to it…slate tiles, break the concrete and pour new concrete and level it, etc.  The previous owners in an (overzealous) effort to keep water away from the house inclined the yard at such a steep pitch that it slants sharply away from the house.  Therefore everything always looks crooked…no matter what I do!

It surprises me when is people come over and don’t notice the slope…is it all in my head? When did I decide that things had to be so perfect? I used to love old imperfect things. When we bought this house I fell in love with it because it alluded to grandness in its past lives in a very atypical row house sort of way. I really wanted to restore it to its original grandness but keep all the personality.  Well now somehow I have entered a house renovation world where I embrace the imperfections but at the same time need everything that we do to be perfect. I am not sure if I could ever reconcile these two emotions. I am making a pact with myself that from today onwards I will make more of an effort to just let things go (just a little).

I will leave you with this picture of my back yard:

P.S. Look closely and you will see that everything slopes to the left.

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